I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
