no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
