I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
