And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
