Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
