Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
