It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize