This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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