Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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