Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
