she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I party with great urgency now.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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