MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
