its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize