Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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