im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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