you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
