You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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