You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just pee around me
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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