i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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