I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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