Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
