The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
