belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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