I can tuck mytits in my pants
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm passing your future prison.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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