My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
