She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
