It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Green mimosas i think yes
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
