ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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