Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just gift wrapped bread.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Randomize
