forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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