In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
