My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
