the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
