she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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