You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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