I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
