The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
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