I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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