i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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