They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just had sex on a roof
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
