I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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