Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
