someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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