I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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