i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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