I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
