32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
