Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
