okay pat passed out under dana's car
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I think your dad took our porno
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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