Already got asked if we're dating
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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