Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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