Sry I called you an 8
if only i could text you this smell
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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