it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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