remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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