Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
