I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
