I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
