Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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