i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
