what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So much rum. So many feels.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
